


Isolation

by nadiaselite



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 15:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17347862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nadiaselite/pseuds/nadiaselite
Summary: A very vulnerable Clarke who feels like the weight of the world is too much to carry.





	Isolation

**Author's Note:**

> This is very unedited and goes deeper than you'd understand. But I still hope you enjoy it.   
> xx

Clarke sat on a chair by herself on the other end of the ship. Since everyone else had been taken out of cryo she felt she barely had time to herself anymore. She just needed space. She wasn’t used to it yet, having people around that is. It all felt overwhelming.

Sometimes she found it too hard to breathe. She didn’t quite trust everyone yet, and they certainly carried a hostility towards her too.

As she stared out at the stars and the dark abyss that was space she felt her stomach begin to knot. She was sure it was going to burst. Tears welled up in her eyes as her breath felt like it was being ripped from her lungs.

She quickly placed her head between her knees trying to catch her breath as the tears fell from her eyes. The overwhelming waves of anxiety were slowly starting to tear her apart.

A soft cry slipped from her lips as she heavily breathed in and out. Everything she’d done, everything she’d been through, everything she’d sacrificed was a waste. Even surrounded by all her friends and family she was more alone than ever.

She slowly edged off her chair and onto the floor, pulling her knees to her chest as she lied on the cold hard floor. Maybe she should have died long ago. She should have let herself die of starvation or thirst. Or maybe she should have just let Madi kill her. It would be easier than going through this endless cycle of pain every day.

Surely no one would care if she died.

She allowed her tears to continue running down her cheeks. Crying was the only way she could hold onto her humanity. She couldn’t yell at the sky as she did on Earth. This was the only way she could express her emotions alone.

Clarke would rather die than give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her break down like this. If they didn’t care she surely wasn’t going to take their pity.

If Monty was here he’d have been there for her. Monty and Harper were the only two people she felt like she could still rely on, but of course, they were gone. Maybe they had the right idea. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t miss them. Sometimes it felt like she was the only one who cared other than Jordan.

Jordan and Clarke would sit up when everyone else went to sleep and watch the videos Monty and Harper had left behind, the last remaining memories they’d have of them.

Clarke felt her heart clench in her chest. It was as if all her airways were constricted, nothing was going in or out. She lied on her back staring at the ceiling, incapable of moving anymore. The only thing she could do was cry.

So she lied there on the floor of the room staring at the ceiling with hopes that maybe somehow she’d end up disappearing into the sea of nothingness that surrounded them. Aside from the occasional cry slipping through her lips, there was not a single sound in the entire room.

She lied there alone on the floor in a pool of her own tears completely gutted by how much things had actually changed. Every breath she took felt involuntary as if her body was slowly preparing itself to shut down once and for all.

As her eyes began to flicker shut the lights in the room switched on and suddenly she felt someone’s body against hers. And now she wasn’t lying on the cold hard floor anymore but instead resting lifelessly in someone’s arms. Two arms she remembered far too well.

Bellamy.

She couldn’t help but cry harder as he held her in his arms. It was all too painful for her. Not only to be caught in such a state of vulnerability but to be caught by someone who had always seen her as this strong woman.

But at last, she couldn’t contain herself. All she could do was bury her face into his chest and cry.

He held her the entire time. Not once saying a word. He didn’t need to. He’d been listening to her cry by herself long enough. He’d heard her conversations with herself. Seen the way she’d been isolated by the people she’d sacrificed everything for. He’d had enough.

And as he sat on the floor with her holding her in his arms he could feel her pain. She carried it by herself. All he wanted to do was make sure she knew she didn’t have to do that anymore.

Because she had him.

Neither of them knew how long they’d been sitting there for. And neither of them cared. It just felt right.

Slowly Clarke felt her breathing come back to normal, her body finally coming back to its equilibrium. But she didn’t let go. Instead, she tightened her grip around his waist pulling him as close as she possibly could.

Since Madi became the commander she didn’t have anyone to do this with anymore. Her own mother could barely look her in the eyes. Jordan was too socially awkward to even shake her hand.

This was just what she needed. It was exactly how she needed it. No talking, no pity, no guilt. Just a full release of emotions with someone around to make her feel needed. 

Eventually, she pulled away, quickly wiping at her tear stained cheeks. Her eyes felt damn near ready to fall out from how much she’d cried. She felt weak, exposed. She hated crying. It made her feel vulnerable in the worst way.

As she finally built the courage to look him in the eyes, she noticed the tears running down his cheeks. His eyes carried so much pain and guilt.

She didn’t say a word but instead, she wrapped her arms around him. This time she allowed him to bury his face into the crook of her neck as she softly caressed his back. He needed her just as much as she needed him. 

Between the two of them, they didn't need to talk about they felt because they could feel each other's emotions. Some of their deepest conversations had gone unspoken. It was the part of their relationship that they enjoyed most. 

There was no shame in revealing their vulnerability to one another. Because to them it felt right.


End file.
